


Carol of the Jims

by TheAwkwardLadyJay



Series: 25 Days of Ego Christmas [23]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: But aren't we all, Darkstache - Freeform, M/M, a bit of a twist on caroling, and how sad and alone the glitch is, dark loves the grinch, he also loves wil, i can see the jims doing this honestly, it makes him laugh, it's the only christmas movie he watches, mainly because it reminds him of anti, the jims are still pure, they take family traditions seriously, they're just a little weird sometimes, this was fun, wil is a sucker for mariah carey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:37:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwkwardLadyJay/pseuds/TheAwkwardLadyJay
Summary: Nobody expected the Jims to be a threat. However, they forgot to take into consideration the Jims' tendencies to take traditions a little too seriously.





	Carol of the Jims

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about the podcast Welcome to Night Vale when I wrote this. I feel like the Jims would really like living in Night Vale. That entire town is right up their alley.

Wilford slammed the door shut, pressing against it, looking over his shoulder frantically, “They’re almost here, Dark! What are we going to do?”

Dark swore and paced back and forth, muttering to himself, “We should have been prepared for this. It was stupid of us to think they were harmless.”

“It’s too late for that now! We need to come up with a plan or else we’re going to be corralled into a carol!” Wilford cried.

The two men froze as a sound filled their ears. It was quiet but was steadily growing louder, the sound of several voices singing.

Wilford paled, “I can’t become one of them, Dark. It will drive me mad!”

“You’re already mad,” Dark snarled, glaring at the door, “But you’re right. If either of us joins their ranks, there will be no stopping them. We can’t fall to their singing tricks.”

“So what are we going to do?!”

The singing was getting louder. The familiar tune of _The Twelve Days of Christmas_ began to shake the walls. Dark gritted his teeth and pressed against the door with Wilford, his shell cracking. The high pitched ringing that followed him around grew louder but it was nothing compared to the singing.

He hurriedly thought of a plan, “Wil, do you have any cider on you?”

The mustached man nodded, “Of course. I carry it with me always.”

“Good,” Dark growled, “This is going to be risky but it’s the only chance we’ve got. When they get here, let them in and throw the cider. Hopefully, it will distract them long enough for us to escape.”

Wilford nodded, “What if they don’t take the bait?”

Dark met his eyes, looking grim, “Then we’re good as dead.”

They waited apprehensively until the singing was almost deafening. Dark stepped away from the door and Wilford steeled himself, yanking it open with a flourish only a Warfstache could achieve.

Outside, all of the Jims were circled around the door, their faces split into wide smiles and their eyes unfocused. The other egos were with them, painful looking smiles etched onto their own lips. No one was supposed to smile like that except for a Jim. It was unsettling.

“Wil! The cider!”

Dark’s holler jolted him from his horror and he fished in a pocket, pulling out a small container full of golden cider. He glanced at it sadly, then back at the carolers. Their grins seemed to have gotten bigger. He chucked the cider over the group’s heads, watching as they slowly turned, moving as one, and shambled over to the container. Their singing continued but Dark’s idea had worked.

Wilford quickly, but quietly, shut the door and turned to Dark, “How are we getting out?”

Dark gestured for Wil to come closer, “We’re teleporting.”

Wilford stepped over to Dark and took the man’s hand, squeezing his eyes shut in preparation for the sickening jolt that came with teleportation. Dark took a deep breath and his aura began to groan and creak, snapping around him like a light show.

Right before they disappeared, the last notes of the The _Twelve Days of Christmas_ rang through the air and a new song began. Dark felt his heart sink.

“ _I don’t want a lot for Christmas. There is just one thing I need_.”

Wilford’s eyes snapped open and his hand went slack in Dark’s. A smile crept onto his face. Dark hissed and teleported away, keeping a strong grip on Wil’s hand. He couldn’t afford to let the Jims become more powerful. If they got their hands on Wilford…

He shuddered. He didn’t even want to think about what they would do with that kind of power.

They landed in his room and Dark immediately tossed Wilford onto the bed. The mustached man was still smiling giddily, his eyes going in and out of focus. Dark leaned over him, grimacing. The song had taken hold. If he didn’t snap out of it, Dark was screwed.

“Wilford.” He growled, tugging on one end of the curly mustache. No response. He growled and slapped the man’s cheek lightly, “Warfstache, snap out of it!”

Still no response. The man seemed to be falling into more of a daze, his smile getting bigger. Dark cursed and stepped back. He didn’t know what to do. But he had to do something. He chased ideas around in his head, idly walking around the room. What was something that always distracted Wil? Something that was quick and easy and would have an instantaneous effect.

The answer hit Dark in the back of the head. Literally. He turned and glared at whatever had smacked him and his eyes widened. Hanging from the ceiling was a bowtie Dark was planning on giving Wil. A small tag was attached to it, Dark’s handwriting scrawled over

_**To Wil** _

_**With Love** _

_**Dark** _

Of course. Nothing distracted Wilford more than a surprise kiss. Striding over to the bed, Dark cupped Wilford’s face and leaned down, kissing him forcefully. For a moment, there was no response and Dark was beginning to think he had been wrong. Then Wilford’s fingers bunched into his hair and pulled him closer, making him stumble onto the bed ungracefully.

They laid there for several minutes, slowly making out. Dark was half on top of Wilford, resting on his elbows so he didn’t squish the man. Wilford didn’t seem to mind that thought too much, however. He kept tugging Dark impossibly closer, deepening the kiss every time he did so.

Before they could break the kiss, the sound of singing interrupted them. They tore away from each other and stared at the door in horror.

“How did they know we would be here?” Wilford whispered.

Dark cursed and smacked his forehead, “Of course! They have The Host with them! I shouldn’t have been so stupid!”

Wilford patted his shoulder, “Calm down. They haven’t got us yet.” His expression turned mischievous, “The Jims have always been innocent buggers. Perhaps if we continue from where we left off we can use that innocence against them. Embarrass them right out of the room.”

Dark shook his head, “As much as I would like to, I’m afraid that won’t work. The Jims are not themselves right now. We have to come up with something else, something that Host won’t be able to predict.”

The singing had gotten closer and now Wilford could tell what they were saying. He paled, “Dark…”

Dark turned to the door and listened carefully. After a moment, he deflated, “Shit. They know us too well.”

The caroling group had split into two songs. The clear notes of _All I Want for Christmas_ were still ringing through the air but now they were joined by the catchy hop of _You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch_.

Dark sighed and took Wilford’s hand, raising it to his lips gently, “There is nothing we can do against them, Wil. I’m sorry. While our time together was short, I immensely enjoyed it.”

Tears welled in Wilford’s eyes and he lurched forward, wrapping his arms around Dark, “You are such a dork and I love you.”

They held each other as the singing continued to get louder. The door burst open and the carolers filed in, their grins wider than should be physically possible.

Dark felt his favorite Christmas carol reverberate in his head, overtaking everything else until all he was aware of was the man he held in his arms. After a moment, even that didn’t register. All he knew was Christmas and singing. All he could do was spread the joy to everyone.

The next morning, Dark decided he hated everything.

He slowly sat up, grimacing as his muscles protested the movement. He looked around, pressing a hand to his throbbing face. It felt like someone had taken a bat to his mouth. He looked down at Wilford, who was still slumbering next to him. He couldn’t have been the cause of this pain. Dark didn’t remember doing anything with the man yesterday and sex with Wilford was a hard thing to forget.

There was a soft knock on the door. He glared at it and grumbled for the intruder to enter. A Jim poked his head in, looking around nervously.

“Sorry for disturbing the demon’s slumber,” he yammered, “but the Jims wanted to thank the demon and the candy man for the assistance of the Jim Choir. With only four of us here, we were sure our tradition would be weak and unmemorable. But because of your help, it was perhaps the best Choir us Jims have taken part of.” He grinned at Dark and then disappeared, shutting the door with a quiet click.

Dark’s brows scrunched in confusion. The Jim Choir? What the hell? Suddenly, memories of hiding from the caroling Jims flooded his brain. He shuddered at the memory of losing control because of that damn Grinch song. He knew he should never have told anyone about that.

Wilford stirred next to him, sitting up and leaning heavily against him. He rubbed one of his cheeks and stared at Dark accusatorily, “What the hell did we do last night?”

Dark shook his head, “Trust me. You don’t want to remember.”

**Author's Note:**

> There are only two more stories and I am not ready! I've enjoyed this event so much and I seriously don't want it to end. Alas, all good things must stop at some point.  
> If you have any requests or questions, stop by my tumblr. I'm always happy to chat!
> 
> theawkwardladyjay.tumblr.com


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